Mikey's Musings

A Happy Birthday to Yours Truly

Yes, it's true. I've reached another epic moment in my life where I can say that I'm one year older and still single (yes, the writer is also aware that there seems to be recurring comments on singlehood...he will do his best to work on that).

So tomorrow, it being 10.10.2007, is my birthday, (not officially until 8:21 pm). Apparently, my mom went through 40 hours of labor just to get me out into the world. I'm a stubborn guy, I guess (hmm, I wonder where I get that from???). Anyway, this evening a friend of mine (if you talk to her she'll deny it) sent me on a treasure hunt of sorts through campus and parts of Provo. I must admit, it was a surprise, but a surprise I thoroughly enjoyed. It started off with me driving her car up 200 E, and as I stopped at the intersection of 2nd E and 8th N, this guy jumps out in front of me causing me to almost hit him. He comes up to my side of the car and motions me to roll down the window. Mind you, I've never seen this guy before, so I thought he wanted to yell at me for almost running him over. I roll the window down and he says, "Go to the botany pond. Feed the ducks, then go to the bleachers where you'll find a message. Of course, I immediately knew what was going on, yet excited for the adventure that lay ahead. I went from message that led to another message; and with each message there were little notes from friends and family. It was a great adventure!

There is one part of the night I wish to comment on specifically. A message led us into the library on campus (it read: "Go to the 5th floor and on the NW side of the building you will find a book at an unattended table. Put it in it's proper place and you will find the next message in a neighboring book." So we go up to the 5th floor and go to the north end of the building and start walking west. As we are doing so I spy a book on a chair of an unattended desk. I think, "Easy find." I go to pick it up and lo and behold, to my surprise the book is titled "Nude Photography Notebook"! Don't believe me? I have proof (I'm shaking my finger):

My friend insisted that this wasn't the right book, so we put the book back and went further west on the floor until we found a book in pink bound that read, "No Nice Girl Swears". Here's another pic for your gazing pleasure:



We read a few portions of it. It was...interesting.

At any rate, we put the book in its proper place, then found the next message that led me to another place. However, the note attached was my roommate's, which earned its right to be blogged on this site. Here is how it went, word for word:

"I am glad that Michael sallied forth from the womb because he is a great proficient with the ladies. It could be said that his finding pool is well stocked and has been left in pieces for far too long. He is a frequent guest on the popular radio program such as Dating 911, as well as Marriage before Maternity. I personally believe Michael is an angel of music sent to us from an otherwise terrestrial locale, the Texas, which got a lone star rating in the Three Degrees of Glory Geological Survey. His work has been featured on the Billboard charts in Orem for the past four days consecutively, unfortunately causing gridlock. Richard Dutcher, director of Gods Army 2: States of Disgrace was seen filming the chaos for a piece in his new film titled Brother Brigham's Blunder: Perpendicular Paralysis. Michael's breakout hit single "I'm Trying to Feel the Spirit, Here" was only surpassed in number of downloads on DITunes by his juicy rendition of Sloppy Joe, which has become an inspiration to lunch professionals in two and a half US territories. This song is reportedly said to have been the catalyst for the creation of five thousand new jobs in Puerto Rican meat packing plants. Additionally, Michael is a grandiose bastion of hope to the obese community at large. His hugely successful protein diet APECS (All Puerto-rican Environmentally-friendly Cow Steak) has transformed hordes of the metabolically disabled into skinny winners. When asked about his diet's wide acclaim and his clients' ballooning success rates, Michael commented, "No Big deal, none of them are Big deals now. APECS is a lifestyle, not...a deli meat." In her recent stint with NBC's Cooking in the Big House, convicted felon Martha Stewart suggested adding a bun and some cheese to APECS in order to broaden one's options. Michael countered by saying of the cheese and bun, "Most people's 'options' are already too broad! That's the problem, you selfish girl! Are the vein of Philly to be thus polluted?!" Martha then promptly sold her 300,000 shares of APECS stock to Richard Dutcher, whose film was a runaway success in the south. Dutcher's success has been lauded by such notable politicians as Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, and Sen. Hillary Clinton who each agreed that the film was "the most thought provoking they'd seen since Liar Liar." Sen. Clinton was also accompanied to the screening by her husband, former President Bill, who, in attempt to comment on the film, was hushed by the Senator from New York, who said, "That's alright, that's alright! You are far from where you started." He was later seen muttering to the popcorn vendor about "the one that got away." Don't fret. I'm sure the odds are very low that that one fell into Michael's finding pool..."

-Ty

Though I wasn't too fond about his Texas comment, I laughed pretty hard when I read it. Sure, pretty much everything in it were inside jokes (that's how this apartment operates...purely inside jokes), but I'm sure it made you smile.

So there you have it! My pre-birthday celebration. Plus, my friend got me the book "The Scarlet Pimpernel", a favorite movie of mine that came from the novel! Odds fish!